I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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