I think I am morally bankrupt
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
