Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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