Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
This is classic penis vs brain.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
