Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
it hurts more in the daytime
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
