Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize