quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
