the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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