Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize