Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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