I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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