I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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