Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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