have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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