In the future we'll all be gay
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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