Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
