You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
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Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
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Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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