So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize