i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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