We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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