i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
How does it feel to date your dad?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
