Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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