imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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