Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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