some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
