Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
