did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
How's work?
Spinning.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i out mim tonsoeep
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