yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
