She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
