Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
