Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Randomize
