small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
