I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
