yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize