im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
