His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
false alarm. still invincible.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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