Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
