I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
