singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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