i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
