she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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