I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
