Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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