thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Randomize
