when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
