clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
