I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
