i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
