Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
