I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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