Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
