i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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