Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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