I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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