my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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