Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

actually, I'm a sock model

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(817): View more from Texas

My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.

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(816): View more from Missouri

If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I skipped work to stalk him.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(515): View more from Iowa

John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.

(1-515): View more from Iowa

As in blowjob or cannibalism?

(515): View more from Iowa

I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.

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(940): View more from Texas

and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?

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(44): View more from United Kingdom

You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.

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(713): View more from Texas

Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.

(1-713): View more from Texas

That explains the nerd bow & arrow...

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