no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
