I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My penis needs a shock collar
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
