Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
