Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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