no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
