it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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