I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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