i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
