He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I am mentally ready for anal.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
