I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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