Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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