I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
its liver damage thursday
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